I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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