i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
