She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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