escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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