When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
