Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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