I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
