I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
