I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
