I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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