you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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