ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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