I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
