For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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