Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.

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  (337): it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots. http://tfl.nu/c5aw
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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  (423): Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately. http://tfl.nu/vgak
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2240) Bad night (558)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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  (919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

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  (856): There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened. http://tfl.nu/ncfk
  Replies (46) Good night (6347) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....

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  (812): Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms.... http://tfl.nu/4wax
  Replies (34) Good night (6406) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (313): Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/w4r8
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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  (612): Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard http://tfl.nu/lrld
  Replies (9) Good night (1463) Bad night (2955) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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  (763): I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder. http://tfl.nu/dpkn
  Replies (7) Good night (2337) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night

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  (712): I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night http://tfl.nu/e3vx
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  (949): View more from California

  Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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  (949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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  (617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb
  Replies (7) Good night (2734) Bad night (537)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  Mardi gras at its finest.

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  (573): Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay. (1-573): Mardi gras at its finest. http://tfl.nu/2k5p
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.

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  (412): I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing. http://tfl.nu/guzu
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  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
  Replies (7) Good night (548) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt

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