You work out of a Hotel?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.