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it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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