Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet