You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its about making memories worth repressing
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream