you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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