i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
