i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
