I am puke
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
