she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Less talking, more tequila
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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