shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
