Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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