just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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