i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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