We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize