She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
