the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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