I think I died a long time ago.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My ass is underappreciated
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize