how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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