I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
