that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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