I wanna bring you to show and tell
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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