That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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