I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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