Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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