sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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