Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
