I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize