So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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