He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
