My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize