): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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