I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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