That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
