I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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