Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't think brook has ever known best
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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