i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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