I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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