I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
