you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
