first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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