i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
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My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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