Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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