Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize