honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
