Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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