The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
