im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
