ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
