If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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