So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
as a side note pls kill me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
