I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
