Me too!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
