i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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