I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
