dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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