3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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